Here I am again creeping up on being obsessed again. I finally let myself look at my calendar to see what CD I am on, which is 9. But I think I seriously cannot let myself become consumed again. But I like to keep track of my cycle. I like to know when I am going to expect AF. I don’t find that wrong.
When do you stop hoping? It’s funny every month I am hopeful. Then we try on what we hope are my fertile days and then the fun begins. The 2WW and depression already kicks in. Can’t I just stay in the fun part? I love the part when you end your cycle and then you can “try” for your little baby. It’s almost as if you have some control on what’s happening. But I know better. So why the heck do I do this to myself? I know loads of ladies on Baby zone and on this blog know what I’m saying. But I just can’t stop hoping….
Thanks for the comment you left on my blog. I'm now following yours. :)
ReplyDeleteAh, the vicious cycle...isn't it the worst??? I would start my period and be like, "Okay, THIS is going to be the month," and we'd do it on my fertile days. Then, the agonizing two-week wait would cause every emotion to surface, but mostly depression, especially at the end when I would feel my period coming and know that, in fact, I was wrong and it wasn't my month. You guys have been trying for 2-1/2 years, or was that when you first started your blog? We've been TTC for 2 years and 3 months. It feels like eternity. Best of luck to you as you continue on this road to motherhood!
~Bobbi
We are on the same path as you time wise in TTC. I am glad we are not alone, but sometimes when I wake up at night I feel very alone. But there's nothing you can do but push through. Thanks for your support, looking forward to your journey too.
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