So tomorrow is the day...it has come...I am co-hosting a baby shower. Dear God could you please stop laughing at me and impregnate me already please!!! Seriously I feel like this is all a huge freaking joke. Two years later and I am still in hopes of having a baby that looks like my husband and I. I even had a dream about a little girl who was around one or two. She was fair like me and she had dark brown hair with curls. Her little chubby legs spilled out from under her little shirt and her sweet face looked like me. TORTURE!!! I have had a few dreams of babies but nothing like this. Then honestly it freaks me out because I want to have my own baby. I am not saying that I am right, I know I should adopt. But honestly I am not teaching yet and my husband makes more money than I do, but we really struggle. I will be teaching hopefully in two years but until than we cannot afford to adopt. And I really don’t want to go back to the RE because I don’t want to be poked and prodded again. I want to have a baby “on accident”. Funny huh? I know I am full of laughs these days. How could I seriously think that I could make myself not want a baby? I can make myself calm down, but when I get around pregnant women my heart aches. Well good luck to me and let’s pray that I don’t go hide in the bathroom and cry tomorrow. LOL here’s hoping.
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