We are all fine here

I have been thinking about getting pregnant. Which I do all the time but tonight I had a wonderful quaint fall like dinner with my mom and I began to think....I want my mom to see my babies. She will be 61 in April and I want her around for our babies like she has been for my sister's babies. She was showing me new shirts she bought for my nieces and it hit me, I need to have a baby...like now. And no it's not just for my mom but seriously I feel this stagnant in my life. Don't get me wrong I am super busy, I work full time and I do online school. I graduate next November and then I just need to find a teaching job. I am an artist, and I have a steady social life. I'm plenty busy. But when I went to visit a good friend's baby I knew this was what I wanted. When the sweet baby girl stretched and cooed on my lap I was in love. I know we need a baby. But why the hell is it not happening?! We are both healthy and there is nothing wrong with either one of us. That is why I am tired and heart sick of waiting for our little bean. Yet I know if I keep praying and asking God for a healthy baby that it will happen, but after two years and 3 months I am getting impatient and not sure if I should keep going on praying. I so want to go have an IUI but my hubby is worried about multiples and not having enough money. I agree but it doesnt turn off the want for a baby. So I am trying to busy myself but its hard when I had a dream the other night and I had taken a pregnancy test and it was positive. I remember walking up to my husband and giggling and showing him the test. God I was so happy and so was he. I so want to know what thats like, to have a pregnany test be positive for once. Blah blah blah....