Feeling more like myself

Well I have to be honest going to see my dad in California was not one of my brighter ideas. Until today I was feeling negative and down. I felt rejected and abandoned just like I felt as a kid when I was visited them. And I was so pissed at my dad and step-mom for putting me in that position. I also have been feeling pissed at another family member who I thought was my best friend.She has so many repressed feelings that she acts like a OCD jerk all the time to everyone. So here I go again feeling rejectged and abandoned. So I finally decided today screw both of them, they dont run my life I do damn it! So today I slept in, (perks of working in a school), I planted all of my terraniums, cleaned my kitchen,walked my dogs, did my homework, and went to see my in-laws. It was a very productive day. So now tomorrow I get to go eat Chinese food with my mom for lunch, call a friend from work, make my massage apointment, and unfortunatly write a paper. I am so excited about AF showing for once in my life so that I can get onto Clomid. I pray that this works, and if not I am going to make sure I have the money to get my IUI. I am nervous about having a pointy catheder shoved up my vajaja but I am excited to make our baby. I want to have a baby so much now that I can almost feel it actually happening one day. Well anywho tomorrow is another day.